"Without stirring abroad, One can know the whole world; Without looking out of the window One can see the way of heaven. The further one goes The less one knows."
~ Lao Tzu
How True Lao Tzu!
We can't go anywhere!
The lights are off, they are ripping up the streets in my home town
and yet, I notice if we are ever-present and just open our eyes, and shed some skin,
become a little less,
And I have arrived with nothing to do and nowhere to go at
the "Coolest little town in the Catskills," Phoenicia, NY
I think I am here for many reasons.
One is that I had to go somewhere. I am a wanderer by heart and trade so I needed to retreat. So I headed up to Menla: A Buddhist Retreat Center to meditate and unbeknownst to me, sew up some loose ends.
Eleven years ago (there is that number again!) I was up here in Woodstock with my family. My married family.
A week later my husband dropped the bomb and told me he was leaving. My life forever changed, but also, it hasn't. I just had a little less.
Against all odds, that included anger, bitterness, grace, and complete, utter surrender to my journey I am back here by design a completely new model of Jen.
They say you have to forgive to move on. I think there is some truth to that, but more than that you have to just wake up and everyday look your self in the face and say I am __________.
(Fill in the blank with something positive people!)
I did it, and look I'm floating and smiling and hanging with new friends and old, I am healthy, I have and continue to create some amazing experiences, I have a freaking awesome daughter who I get to see bloom as well... I let go.
Maybe the mountains released the secrets they have been whispering to me all along. I finally listened, released, maybe I have forgiven.
After 11 years of budding myself into flower
It feels more official than ever
Today I say
"I am Majestic."